The danger of never saying never as a parent

By John Bianchi

Recently, I’ve seen two stories floating around about weird obsessions that parents have allowed their children to indulge in. One was of a girl who insisted on having a poop themed birthday and the other is of this girl who collects cockroaches. I know what you’re saying, hey, the poop birthday party is just a funny story. The cockroaches not so much. Ok, well then hear me out.

What strikes me as infantile is that these parents allow their children’s obsessions to become reality, even to the point of accommodating their children and joining in such idiotic behavior. Another article on today’s parental obsession with child worship in marriages is for another time. However, it’s no wonder we have the society we do when parents set no parameters for how their children should live and function in society.

If I were to ever have children, I would not, first, allow them to run my lifestyle with an obscene or gross obsession (think, how would you ever have guests over if your house is infested by roaches) and second, I would tell them that certain people may have proclivities toward the obscene but normal decent people do not indulge those obsessions, as some people may be disgusted by them, (need I mention any John Waters film?).

Morality is not fundamental or basic to the human condition as we all should have learned from Lord of the Flies. Nor is it something that is universally agreed upon anymore. It is important for parents to stand as good actors in the face of every new and unknown evil that can thwart their children’s mind or development including, their own untoward desires. If my child wanted a poop themed birthday, I would calmly say no and then explain that there are differences between what is socially acceptable or not regardless of how much they want their own way. Isn’t it a decent adult’s duty in society to set boundaries for children? Where do you draw the line?

Would these parents be just fine with one of their children having an obsession with something more socially agreed upon as obscene (potentially although you never know these days), say, collecting hardcore pornography or sex toys? At what age would that be deemed appropriate/inappropriate? If a twelve or thirteen year old boy says, ‘Hey Mom! I have an obsession with collecting used bandages and birth control items! Here’s my collection!’, I would hope all mothers would be horrified and then remove the collection along with a firm explanation of why that collection is obscene and not to be encouraged, not to mention unsanitary. Feces are a bodily emission as are sexually related items or bandages. Why wouldn’t something like that receive the same stern reproach as in this case of the young girl’s birthday or a roach house?

A quick glance around at our culture today not only has one wondering where decency has gone but we’ve succumbed to a more sinister force. We’re irreverent to the point of censorship of opposing viewpoints and we have an infantile obsession with becoming offended at any viewpoint we see as not our own or what we believe should be right.

It’s no wonder that this generation is the ‘snowflake’ generation. I would say though that this isn’t even relegated to one generation. This is cultural mindset. When anyone from any generation tells you it was better back in their day or their way is the best way, if they can’t provide proof for that statement and become irate when your challenge those positions that’s just a snowflake that has had time to harden into an icicle.

Perhaps it’s time for parents to grow up a bit and take the responsibility of telling their children, ‘no!’ once in a while when things reach a point of insanity. But then again, in a morally relativistic culture, who are we to tell anyone that they’re not entitled to their opinions or their own way of life.